Just Being Me - Sippy: A touching story

Just Being Me - Sippy

a simple plain jane who believes Jesus is her only saviour. she has an awesome family but in need of salvation. her current addiction is 2pm but shinhwa will always remain as the love of her life.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A touching story

Very touching, can move you to tears...
Take 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to read this till the end.
It's really touching...
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever.
*
This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX, translated by SaFe).
*
Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.
Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments
in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong
as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price,
everything became too late.
*
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of
asking Mother to move from the rural hometown
and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young.
Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him,
see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could
expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
*
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room,
which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room,
and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.
As I begged him t put me down he said:
"Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling
that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down,
he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
*
Mother brought along her countryside habits
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room,
she could not stand it and would comment:
"I do not know how you young people spend your money,
why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!"
I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled:
"Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
*
Mother stopped saying anything.
But every time thereafter,
whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.
I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags,
she would ask each and every item how much they cost,
I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said:
"You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
*
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In her view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial _expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm
and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
*
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around,
I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed
and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework,
but soon her help created additional work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on,
and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags;
she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings,
I would quietly wash them again.
*
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes,
and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position,
and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.
I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said:
"Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
*
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me
and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast,
mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.
At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that
reprimanding stare at me
for avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
*
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:
"LD,is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.
After some time, hubby sighed:
"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
*
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I
felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't.
I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out.
Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect,
hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day;
mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
*
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived;
I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food,
coupled with all the events happening at home,
I was at the low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said:
"LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."
*
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning,
a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby and mother who had been through this before,
thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard.
I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften,
I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he
pretended that he doesn't know me;
he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
*
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby:
"Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.
Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
*
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.
I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.
He was removing the money.
I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.
What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.
I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
*
The next day, I did not go to work.
I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said:
"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.
Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.
*
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby didn't say a single word to me,
with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop,
apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street,
a public bus came and hit her...
*
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me,
if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
*
finally finish edited this story
not really editin it but puttin it in a nicer order so people can read easier :p
used up the entire afternoon
but i also chat with friends the same time lar
dan said men are good actors, women are good actresses
that's why even though how pain the heart is
it's never show in the public
i dunno whether to agree with him or what
i really dunno
but one thing i know is that i hv to forget my relationship with him as fast as possible
so that i won't be thinkin and missin him anymore
thanks dan for chattin with me
learn somethin from you :)
*
this is only the first part of the family
quite long rite??
there's 2nd part
i'll update it tomorrow
i'm gettin tired starin in front of the computer screen :)
hope u guys enjoy it
for those who read addy
sorry lar
can just skip this story :D
*
~HAVE A NICE CF LATER~

posted by sippy @ 4:24 PM

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