a simple plain jane who believes Jesus is her only saviour.
she has an awesome family but in need of salvation.
her current addiction is 2pm but shinhwa will always remain as the love of her life.
| Monday, July 18, 2005 |
| love?? disappointing/jealous?? |
Lately, there's new couples everyone or should I say more and more people falling in love, dealing with love and struggling with love. Some of them get to be with their love ones, some of them are still going after the one they like and some of them, sadly to say, didn't stand a chance to get their love ones.
There's disappoinment and jealousy in every relationship, no relationship is perfect. Even after breaking up, there's still this jealousy thingy ruling over you, even though it's the slighest thing. Even though you thought you're recover but once there's somebody mentioning a certain person's name, you will be superbly alert. Your heart as though riding roller coaster, dashing from highest point to the lowest point. You can't do anything about it because your heart is not controlled by yourself and thus, you will start questioning yourself what is the feeling all about.. It sucks and so you will want to go over things quickly so that you can still maintain a super big smile on your face without worrying people around you.
Remember there's a friend saying he wants to be a robot or more robotic so that he won't have much information with him and there's nothing that able to harm him since there won't be anything that can affect his emotions. We, homo sapiens get hurt easily because we have this thing call emotions. I wonder whether animals have it or not. Even if they have, not as much as we do, right?? Listen to his reasoning, I feel like being a robot as well. I only need to take order and execute them, without much to worry about it being success or failure. I won't cry if I get scolding, I won't get angry if my work is not being appreciated, I won't get worried if things are not going well, I won't get depress when I'm facing problems that I cannot solve and I won't get jealous when I hear something that's not wanted by me heart.. I'll be able to follow whatever lessons that Jesus thought us. I would be able to read my Bible everyday, I won't have any evil thoughts, I'll love everyboy and etc. Isn't it easier if you're a robot?? I wish I am one now so my parents just need to insert a computer chip within me and I'll be what they hope I am. Life will be much more simple without emotion.
Reason for writing this entry?? Don't feel like mentioning here. Let's just keep it a secret. They say the more secrets a woman have, the more ladylike she will be. Let's just see whether this saying turns out true or not. Or perhaps the ladylike thingy they say is being more emotional. Girls are emotional all the times so I guess if you advance yourself to the woman stage, you will be a super expert on that, freaking everyone out. Perhaps, I'm freaking someone out there because of my unreasonable behaviour. I don't really care now because I'm just not in the mood to be clowny, bringing laughter and joy to everyone. I want to be evil.. I want to be evil incarnate so that I won't feel guilty when I hurt someone, so that I won't feel hurt when someone actually hurts me.. I'm just having a lousy mood again.. |
posted by sippy @ 6:21 PM  |
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*smiles*