a simple plain jane who believes Jesus is her only saviour.
she has an awesome family but in need of salvation.
her current addiction is 2pm but shinhwa will always remain as the love of her life.
| Sunday, June 29, 2008 |
| Sorry.. |
I realise I haven't grown much, I haven't grow mature yet.
I still dunno how to deal with things & I damage things so easily.
Hate myself for tat.
I'm sorry..
I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner.
I'm sorry for not acting sooner after damaging it.
I'm just so sorry.
Pls do let me know if there's something I can do..
Or maybe I should just bang my head on the wall (with the pillow attaching to it lar).
Ishh.. I'm so so so useless.Labels: sorry |
posted by sippy @ 9:02 PM  |
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| Friday, April 20, 2007 |
| a painful lesson |
Things happen recently and I had learned a painful lesson.
In the process, I guess I had hurt some ppl, perhaps directly, perhaps indirectly.
Causing other ppl to stumble, guess might be my biggest sin of all time.
My immature, incapabality caused me to make the wrong decisions, did the wrong thing.
It was tiring to go through this process.
If time could turn back, it wont have to be this way.
But it cant, what I can do now is tried to make things better, change myself.
It took a long time for me to realise that, and it cost a lot, to see other ppl sad bcos of me.
I guess if Jesus is here, He would have give me a sad sad look and a good scolding. After that, He might hug me and teach me to do things the right way,
"Sorry" sounds cheap, when it is used too often but I never seem to learn my lesson and thus the history itself repeat over and over again.
Yet, I still want to say "sorry" for my wrongdoings.
And lastly, there is always 2 sides to a coin, and this is one of the most painful lessons that I have learnt.Labels: feeling, lesson, sorry |
| posted by sippy @ 10:51 AM |
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| Monday, September 11, 2006 |
| a quiet comeback, n to the person i love most |
I'm hving a quiet comeback, dun think anyone will notice my blog also, but I'm blogging again cos I need some place to filter my thoughts and I need someone to share or know my feelings. I'm LOA.. :p I guess tat might be the reason ppl are bloggin, they want ppl to care, they want ppl to know what's on their head or wat on their lifes. If speaking is not workin efficiently, then maybe writin is. OR maybe they just find it too hard to speak it out, then they write it, at least they dun get slaps rite away, they get slaps later. LOL.
I told myself I want to write happy posts, at least posts tat cheer ppl up or meaninful post, post that ppl wont feel their time are wasted after readin it. But with my limited knowledge, with my limited vocabulary, I end up hvin a weblog diary instead, something that make ppl yawn. Nope, I'm not as creative as renee, andrew, mark or any others in the CF. I hardly upload any nice pics since I dun hv a good digicam. In fact, my blog might seem boring bcos Im writin so long, makin u yawn. Yeah, tat's me in real life as well, a borin person. *stick out tougue*
This post will be a long post, a sorry post, written by me to my mother, the closest person to me, the person that I hurt most since young. The person I disappointed most not bcos I did badly in my exams but bcos of my attitude, or my behaviour that stabs her heart and makes her cry. Knowing how much she loves me, how good she treats me, how much she has sacrifices for me, I turned her down by my unfilter words and childish attitude. And yet, I'm not willing to say sorry to her even I know I'm wrong. I'm a failure who fails to be a decent daughter.
Bro said I take my parents for granted. He wrote on an A4 paper, begging me to care about my parents more. I did feel sad and ashame hving my younger bro to point it out, and showing me a more mature attitude than I am. My parents never request anythin from me, not even a good result, what can I ask more from parents like them? I'm ashamed, so ashamed that I feel like digging a hole and bury myself.
I do not dare to call my mom or answer her phone. I'm only willing to sms her, and silent the sound whenever she call, pretend I'm away. I feel guilty, my conscious tell me wrong. I so want to be in good terms with my mom again but it's so hard to squeeze the word "sorry" from my mouth. I know I have hurt her and I'm not ready for the consequences of it. If I call my mom, would she answer me coldly like the last time I called when I haven't call in few days?? I know I cried after hearing her tone, she sounded sad n down. And to be honest, Im not ready to face that again when time time, the situation is even worse, I got to do somethin.
I love my mom, more than any person in this world. I might be going out with tons n tons of ppl, I might be gettin dozen kids of my own but I know the person I care and love most is still my mom, be it in the past, present or future. I need courage from GOD, I need to tell mom I'm wrong, I'm sorry n I love her. And thus, I wish I can tell her through this blog. I hope she's willing to open and read it. And if she's willing, I hope I can get a call from her, and then I'm ready to tell her with my trembling voice on how sorry I am, and how much I love her.
I'm sorry mom, I love you.
Labels: mom, sorry |
| posted by sippy @ 10:22 PM |
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| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 |
| to KL: sorry |
Past few days there's something keep bugging me, I can't sleep properly, I can't eat nicely. I wonder why, it seems that I forgot something very very important. Well.. wat is it?? Wat could it be?? I have absolutely no idea. Then, my mind keep spinning, spinning & spinning until it hurts, hurts so badly, as though there's am earthquake with magnitude 7, causing damages & crakes on my poor scalp. I decided to stop it at once, letting my poor poor head rest & left the unthinkable item alone. But I never know that I'm making a big big mistake, a mistake, a mistake that I'll regret for a few few days..
I was walking in a shopping mall today. On the way, I saw a gift shop. Gift shop.. gift shop.. gift.. present.. bday.. bday present.. someone's birthday.. KHAN LING's bday!! OH.. MY.. GOSH!! I forgot about her bday, I didn't even wish her, I'm so so so dead. How could I ever forgive myself?? How could she ever forgive me?? How how how??
This question keep puzzling me the whole time. Yeap yeap.. What should I do?? I'll never know. I want to send her a belated bday message but it seems too late to do so. I want to send her a bday e-card, it seems too late too. I don't have the guts to call her and tell her that, she has been treating me so so so nicely since the day I know her. I'm in a deep deep dilemma. Not knowing what to do, I decided to do what I do best, blog. Eh.. Err.. Umm.. I can blog about her, can't I?? I can tell her how sorry I am, I can tell her how much I like her, can't I?? Haha.. I know what I should do, I should blog about her, and her alone~~ (^_^)
Khan Ling, a girl that I prefer to call KL more. Reason?? She get annoyed everytime I call her that. :p She is a girl, just like me; she wear specs, just like me; she has long hair, just like me; she studies law course, just like me, she's staying in mlk now, just like me; she.. oh oh.. that's the only few commons that we hv.. That shows she's so diff from me. She's fair, unlike me; she's a 4 flat student, unlike me; she has dogs, unlike me; she plays piano and badminton greatly, unlike me; she listens in class; unlike me.. etc. Oh my gosh.. We are so so so different.. Then why are we still friends?? Does she still want to sit beside me in class?? Still willing to share her notes with mer?? Still let me to rely on her academically?? Still teaches me the parts that I don't know?? Still listen to all my problems?? Oh oh.. sounds like more probs tumbling down.. X(
Anyways, I haven't finished describing her yet. Those who know her will surely like her one lar. I haven't found anyone talking bad about her or hate her yet. If any of u do, tell me kays?? That will be a big big news for me. :p But if u envy her or jealous of her, then dun need to tell me lar cos me also like that mar. Haha~~ She's also lucky all the time. She got the Dean as her A.A, makes me envy sial.. Can I exchange with u?? Looks like it's a no-no . :< But nvr mind, still, she's a great friend that ppl hardly let go.
So being a goody goody girl like her, Khan Ling will not leave me alone one lar.. She's an angel that saves me from all the trials and tribulations most of the time. I know she's there for me, she's a good good friend mar. A good friend like her won't leave me alone, rite rite?? =D Hopefully she will forgive the mistakes that I do. If u're really really angry at me then I let u bully me lar.. U can choose to slap me, pinch me, hit me, beat me, and even scold me. U can also give me silent treatment for a few days but after that must forgive me and talk to me kays??
Lastly, to end this touching (describing how KL feels now) entry that I wrote for her, I still owe her this very very important phrase:
SORRY & HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, GAL!! <3>
~~ THE END~~
Labels: birthday, sorry |
| posted by sippy @ 8:25 PM |
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